RELATIONSHIP ENGINEERING
The title looks complicated with the word "Engineering" and more so since it is linked to Relationship!. Maintaining a Relationship itself is a pleasure and also a challenge if two people come together with diverse thinking and behavior. Then why engineering? Engineering immediately spells system, design, perfection and much more. That is exactly what is required when we are dealing with relationship. I do not wish to scare anyone but a relationship needs to be planned thoughtfully, maintained meticulously and nurtured relentlessly. We generally tend to take the other partner for granted but a little attention or to repeat the title "Engineering"; one can sail happily for years to come. Be it any relationship! Lets see some very basic steps which, I am sure are well known but still need to be thoughtfully applied or executed...
a) RECHARGE: Just as we religiously recharge batteries of our mobile or any other equipment, have we ever thought that our relationship with anyone; say, our friends or spouse or parents or our children; also needs to be recharged? do we realize that our relationship battery has drained down and something needs to be done? More often than not this is exactly what is ignored or slips out of the mind or simply may be because one is just bogged down in the routine and again as said above, we take our partner for granted...don't we? Never mind, it happens but being Aware of this fact certainly will help bring about the required change. The moment we realize that our relationship battery has drained we need to work on recharging the relationship.
Recharging starts immediately with communication. A frank, open, fair, transparent dialogue with the other person who is in our relation should be the staring point. Most of the damages, big or small can be ironed out by merely a dialogue. Sit with your partner and talk; understand the other person's perspective, reasons for dullness, why there are mute mornings and why there instances of avoidance. Recharging means all this; start talking with an open mind without any prejudices and see that the charging percentage slowly and steadily starts improving
The above very importantly means that all the steps are your "chargers" so keep them handy, always available and willingness to use. A charger should always be available on demand!
b) REFILL: In a relationship the word Refill plays as much an important role as it surely plays in our kitchen products or office or stationery. When something has ebbed then it needs to be refilled to make it active. We are lucky to get refill packs for most of the products by online ordering or just going to a shop or a mall but what about a Refill pack for a relationship? Yes, we all have this with us. We just don't use it. We are scared, we are too concerned about our ego; why me and so on and so forth. If the partner is unhappy resulting in lots of stress or lots of differences; a time has come to check the container. Has our container of love gone empty, has the container of respect gone down, or container of respect, attention, appreciation, support and many more; all these containers need to be verified, taken stock and immediate steps need to be taken for refill. Rather than observing the containers of others, why not first check our containers and start doing or applying all hose things which have gone down. The containers will start filling...try it!
c) and lastly, REPAIR: Well if Recharge and Refill is not working then we need to think fast, analyse and conclude that something has broken. It needs to be repaired. Recharging is draining fast with no use, refilling gets emptied soon so there is some leakage and hence Repair! We want to continue with the product (partner); and if this is final then we have to repair. This needs lot of thinking and discussion between each other and honestly draw down lists of leakages and lapses and illnesses and the 'dos' and 'don'ts' expressed by other. Without any debate, without going the denial way and without adopting the justification habit each one should admit, accept, say sorry, draw out a repair plan of action and start implementing. Well easily said but a strong determination and the overall desire to continue with the partner will surely lead the repair function to a success. Patience is the key and it will happen
Well if sadly, if none of the above; Recharge, Refill or Repair do not yield positive results then both have to accept it and move on; no point going through the 3 R's again and again. Nobody wants this but if this 3R Engineering does not work then there is no option but to part ways...
However, The 3 R Engineering in Relationships has helped many people with success stories so why not start the Engineering...no point waiting for some breakdown to happen; the 3 R Engineering should be a continuous process for a continuous harmony in a relationship!
Best Wishes...Take Care!
(Sanjay R. Inamdar)
